


Being Worshipped

by hunters_retreat



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Ben is insane, Broken Alec, First Time, M/M, Only Time, Pre series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:03:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1420741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben wanted what Alec had, he wanted to be Alec.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Worshipped

He had a hard time believing it was happening.  He knew whose hand it was touching him, stroking him, making him moan.  He knew who was behind him, who was inside him, pushing and sliding and making him lose control over and over again.

 

There was a curious, careful aggression in the other man, but Alec couldn’t care less about it.  He looked up at the mirror on the wall, watched as the other man entered him, watched his hands move over his skin as if he was touching something precious.  His eyes held awe as he looked at Alec, at the body that had been toned and sculpted and left unmarked by life on the streets or missions gone bad.  Because Alec didn’t go bad, his missions didn’t go bad.  He’d learned to make sure they didn’t, learned that he, above all others, had to be better.

 

Fingertips pressed into his hips and there was a murmur behind him that sounded something like a chant, like a mantra, like a damn necessity, like if he didn’t press into Alec he would be damned.

 

He looked at the face in the mirror, looked at his own face and that of the other man.  It was the same face.  “God Ben…” he whispered as he saw the tears that tracked the other man’s cheek.  He wasn’t sure if he should pull away or let him have his moment but Ben’s hands on his hips gripped tighter and he decided to let him exact whatever penance he needed into his body.

 

“Shhhh… don’t speak,” came the answering whisper and Ben looked away before Alec could get a grasp on the emotions that rippled across the face that wasn’t his.

 

He couldn’t grasp Ben’s reactions anymore than he could his own.  He should have called it in, should have let Manticore know that he’d found one of the escapees, but he didn’t.  He’d let Ben lead him away, let him strip his clothes and touch and taste until he was content.

 

Ben leaned forward again, letting his lips touch the flesh of his barcode in a kiss that was almost chaste.  Reverent.  His fingers wrapped around Alec’s cock and he moaned into the touch, his hips pushing forward into his grasp before he could stop himself.

 

It felt so damn good though, too good to stop even if he did know how messed up this was.  Manticore might have it’s faults, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know that letting yourself get fucked by your duplicate was outside the normal bounds of sanity.  He could live with it though, like the other things he did.  This, at least, felt good and there had been such an air of need about Ben, a fear of rejection that wasn’t quite strong enough to keep him from reaching out for what he wanted.

 

He was intoxicated by the need that was buried inside him.  Ben’s hand continued to stroke him until he felt himself shaking with need.  His movements came quicker then, harder and Alec felt himself lose control.  He came all over Ben’s hand and the sheets and the other man continued to milk him though it until his hips were moving sporadically, his own orgasm ripping through him.  Alec collapsed to the bed and felt Ben on top of him, warm heat and satisfied longing keeping him happily underneath.

 

Ben didn’t stay that way for long though and he heard him in the bathroom.  He was surprised when he came out a minute later though, washcloth in hand and turning Alec onto his back.  He swiped the warm cloth over his shoulders, his stomach, and then down to this thighs and cock.  When Alec sat up, Ben sat back on his heels on the floor looking up at him.

 

He could hear the mantra in his head and knew he could do it.  He could make a call and Manticore would be there, picking up his stray brother and bringing him back into the fold.  But he didn’t want to. “wantbackwantbackwantback” echoed in his head and he knew that what Ben had been exorcising had been his need to be back in Manticore, back to the life that Alec now led.  Ben wanted what Alec had, he wanted to be Alec.

 

Only he couldn’t.  He’d been gone too long to expect to be allowed back.  His need was far too deep and twisted and he wouldn’t hide it well, he’d get them both in trouble and Alec was damned if he was going to end up in psy-ops against because of him.

 

He brought a hand up to Ben’s cheek and cupped it, kissing him softly before he rose and put his clothes back on.   “Just wait,” he said as he moved towards the door.

 

He could see the hope in the other man’s eyes, could see the need to be taken back, the need to believe that Alec was really going to send them back for him.  It hurt, just a little, but he closed his eyes to it as he walked out the door.  He needed to remember something else, something more.  Something better.  So he found himself remembering the way he’d looked in the mirror, the way Ben’s eyes had held awe and his fingers had pressed against something fragile.  He remembered the care and concern and how good it all was.

 

He walked away, but he would always remember being revered.

 

Being worshipped.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/profile)[**comment_fic**](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/) prompt of Alec/Ben, worship. Originally posted [here.](http://community.livejournal.com/comment_fic/16030.html?thread=2191518#t2191518)


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